He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize