at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
