I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize