ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
