my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think i got beer on your cat.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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