he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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