Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
