He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
