Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
