You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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