I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There r osticjed everywhere
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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