No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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