so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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