I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
