Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
