Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
