wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
