please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize