i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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