I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
