Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
