I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
