AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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