i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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