Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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