everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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