Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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