real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
