He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
