i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
