Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
how drunk are you?
Several
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
