Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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