pedialite and red bull = repair kit
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
