I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
