Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
