so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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