He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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