i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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