with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Your cock deserves a montage
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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