im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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