K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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