shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
