i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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