The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
