Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
