Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
