lets start a swedish sibling band together
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
