I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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