So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
