I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
