And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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