I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
