I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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