This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i out mim tonsoeep
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