if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
