no, he came in my armpit
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
