In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
