she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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