I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
