whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So much rum. So many feels.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
