She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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