she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dick very happy bro
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
