This is not my ceiling
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
