i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
