New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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