I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
