We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
