If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
