before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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