Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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