she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
